Thursday, August 07, 2008

Shear Genius Recap: Doggie Style

Disclaimer: this recap won't be overly witty or clever because I am exhausted and overworked. I'm pulling at least a 50+ hour week and my brain isn't functioning all that well.

The stylists are dwindling away on Shear Genius and the bitchiness is coming out...literally.

This week's Shear Genius was a weird hodge-podge of different ideas. The short cut challenge was all about working with everyday items that can be found in the kitchen. The elimination challenge had the stylists trimming dog hair and creating hair cuts inspired by canines. It was a schizophrenic combination of Shear Genius meets Top Chef followed by Shear Genius meets Groomer Has It. I just didn't see the connection.

That said, let's break it all down a bit.

SHORT CUT CHALLENGE
Shear Genius is picking the strangest guest judges. They're either wicked ugly, have a wacky accent, or are both wicked ugly with a wacky accent. This week the guest judge for the short cut challenge, Robert Hallowell (the "Kitchen Beautician") fell into the ugly category. Despite his looks, I liked the short cut challenge. Finding beauty and styling products in your own kitchen is a fun consideration. It's something I've mentioned before on this blog and, thanks to the latest Shear Genius, something I'll have to explore a little more in depth here in kiss-and-makeup land.

Hallowell told the stylists they had to create a sculptural hair piece using only things that can be found in the kitchen like peanut butter, egg whites, honey, salt, flour, etc. Stylists had access to more exotic things like squid and beets.

The hairstyles were sloppy rats' nests. Everyone looked shellacked, sticky, and drippy. Yikes. Bad memories of Def Leopard's Pour Some Sugar On Me just sprang into my mind. Great...now I'm never going to stop singing "I'm hot, sticky sweet....from my head to my feet." Kill me now. The best of the worst was my boy Paulo (yay!) with his crazed take on a futuristic ice princess. The worst? Nicole and her blob of hair. At least she left the squid off. The whole time the models were sitting on the stools being judged, all I could think about was how sucky it was going to be for those girls to wash all that crap out of their hair. I think I'd just shave my head and start over again!

Here's Paulo's winning purple haze:
And Nicole's not-so-hot mess. My hair looks better than this when I fall out of bed in the morning...and I don't think I've ever had squid in my hair, so I guess I sorta rock!ELIMINATION CHALLENGE
The stylists had to both trim a dog's hair and then create a hairstyle inspired by the dog on the pooch's owner. While I liked the short cut challenge, I thought the elimination challenge was stupid. First: how many real hair stylists moonlight as dog groomers? Very few, I'd guess. And second: who is the world wants to look like a dog? Maybe I didn't relate to this challenge because I'm a cat person...I just don't know.

And I'm not going to waste any more time talking about it.

The winner was Dee...slightly insane-looking Dee with her shifty eyes and off-putting mannerisms. Her final style was adequate, if not boring. The final three consisted of Charlie with a wack-a-do style that made Kim Vo question the model's sanity, poor Paulo who gave his girl a mullet inspired by his own hairstyle, and...of course...the talentless Nekisa who made her girl have stripy overly flat ironed hair. I must say I panicked for a minute. Since I recently threw my support behind Paulo, I was sure I jinxed him. I really thought he was going home because, after all, America loves a shapely woman.

I breathed a huge sigh of relief when Nekisa finally packed her scissors and left. I so won't miss her--she should have gone ages ago. Better later than never, right?

Here's Dee's winning look:And the nail in Nekisa's coffin:
Ok--phew! I got through that. Now it's time to hit the sack. I have a 10 hour day ahead of me tomorrow and I have to work on Saturday. Yes, I am having a pity party and no, you are not invited. Oh! I forgot to remind you that I'm giving away some Anastasia brow products! Click here for info.

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