Sunday, May 20, 2007

This is Too Good!

I love the Internet. While yes, the Internet IS for porn, it's also a great place to find all kinds of weird stuff. While doing my research for Trimming the Bush, I stumbled across the funniest site: ShopInPrivate.com. At this site, you can shop in absolute privacy for items the site considers "embarrassing." This includes:
  • Coochy Shave: No, I am not making this name up, I swear! It is an extra-gentle shave cream that promised rash free results. Comes in two sizes, in your choice of fragrance-free, green tea, pear berry, and original.
  • Various products for incontinence, constipation, diarrhea, hemorrhoids, and gas to name a few. I guess some people are too embarrassed to get this stuff from their local pharmacies...whatever floats your boat.
  • Douches. Or, better yet, a douche/enema combo. This begs the question: do women still douche? I always thought that douching was one of the worst things you could do to yourself. I guess some women still try to combat the "not so fresh feeling" with this old-fashioned and outdated technique. Still, I'm not quite sure why you would want a douche/enema combo--seems like a potential disaster. Yikes.
  • All kinds of things that are sex related, including: a stripper pole, lube, books on "how to do it", pills and lotions to keep men lasting longer, vibrators, even penis pumps. Wow--this is a one stop site for all kinds of fun stuff. But what is so embarrassing about buying a vibrator? If you really want to get your buzz on, check out drugstore.com--they sell all kinds of vibes at very good prices.
Of all the embarrassing items ShopInPrivate.com sells, here are my three favorites:
  • Liquid Virgin Drops: No, I am not making this up! I swear it's an actual product. Apparently you just put on a few drops and it "temporarily tightens the walls of the vagina." Too funny--why not just do some Kegel exercises instead?
  • The Big Boy Package Appearance Enhancer: Why should men stuff their boxers with socks when they could shove this "realistic" looking cup-type thing down their pants? The package (above) asks: Are you man enough? Since this product is currently sold out, the answer will have to wait.
  • Condoms for "Smaller" Men: Oh, this is so sad. And I can totally see why a guy would not want to buy this product anywhere but online. The major condom manufacturers have stopped making small condoms, but ShopInPrivate still stocks condoms that are about 10% smaller than regular condoms. I guess these are for all those men who are overcompensating by driving around in their oversized Hummers and SUVs!
Go over to this site to check out some of the items yourself. It's absolutely fascinating!