Saturday, May 26, 2007

Public Displays of Bad Judgement

I spent the majority of the day today wandering around the annual Folklife Festival in Seattle. Along with the usual stages of musicians, stalls of vendors selling handmade wares, and food stands ready to feed the masses, I was also subjected to far too many walking fashion and style faux pas.

In my humble opinion, attendees at the festival could do without:
  • Acne-Scarred Bare Backs: walking through the area by the food stands, my husband and I were stuck behind a young-ish guy who decided that the world needed to admire his shirtless body. Not only was the poor, delusional boy unexceptionally built, but his entire back was covered in acne and acne scars. Sexy? I think not. Keep the shirt on!
  • Clothes That Don't Flatter the Frame: as we were wandering around, my husband and I noticed far too many people in clothes that were ridiculously ill-fitting. Where to begin? There was the slightly overweight girl who stuffed herself into a hideous strapless dress that was at least one size to small and a good 6-inches too short, the middle-aged former biker girl who probably thought she looked great in her leather vest with her mid-section sticking out, and the numerous plus-sized belly dancers. Do these people have mirrors? Honestly, the world does not need to see that much of you!
  • Blue-Veined Cleavage: I don't know about you, but the only thing I liked "blue-veined" is cheese. Ladies, do you really need to wear dresses and bodices that squish your boobs so tightly that your veins pop out? I said it before and I'll say it again: Sexy? I think not!
  • Patchouli: I went to college in Vermont, I've smoked my fair share of pot, but I've never, ever liked the smell of patchouli. It's way too strong and those who wear it seem to bathe in it. Who do you think you're kidding? The smell of pot is far better than the smell of patchouli, so do us all a public service and lay off.
  • Dreadlocks: Let's see--hair that has matted naturally due to a lack of any brushing, cutting, or washing. This is a style people actually want to embrace? The "I'm so counter-culture I can't even be bothered to attend to my own public hygiene" look? Ick. I can only imagine what kind of crap is matted up with the dirty hair and honestly, it frightens me a bit. God, I've become a yuppie...a hair washing and brushing yuppie, thank you very much.
Now, as much as I gripe about the style-challenged people of the world, they do make for pretty fun people watching. And people watching is one of my favorite things to do. So, I say let your freak flag fly proudly, but just know that other people are going to have an opinion on your style. That's life, get used to it.


Michelle said...

Oh wow. I never knew you were going ot the festival of the unwashed. If I knew you were going, I would have asked you to pick me up one of their starter kits or maybe a pamphlet on how we too can be like them.

So how long did 'Back-acne Casanova' stand in front of you? And why did he feel that he needed to grace the festival with his pastey white acne prone shirtless self?

It's funny that you should mention it, because every festival, from all over the the US and possibly Canada. That is a probalem that constandly happens to the best of us.

Good Post. Kept me laughing.

mjude said...

the patchouli comment...RIOT.

Toya said...

Do you mean people who intentionally lock their hair or people whose hair only locks because it's dirty? Because dreadlocks are a legitimate hairstyle choice - either for cultural or religious reasons or sometimes just because people like the look. As a Black woman who wears her hair natural (as in, unrelaxed) with a best friend whose hair is dreadlocked, I find this comment a bit offensive.

Lydia said...

I was waiting for this type of comment. Let me just say there is a huge difference between natural, unrelaxed hair that dreads and what I am referring to in this post. dreads can look very beautiful--healthy, clean, natural and gorgeous.

hair that is so dirty and unbrushed (and as I saw at the festival) worn on people who look like they really need to bathe is a totally different story. and i think we all know what i'm talking about. its completely and totally apples and oranges.

Michelle said...

About the dread commet.. I immidately thought of the pasty white guy with the matted nest on his head. Reeking of patioulli and that hemp soap. Possibly wearing a rug poncho, khaki shorts and berkinstocks.

Lydia said...

And that's exactly right! Add a hacky-sac and you've nailed it, Michelle!! :)